I hear that! All of that! The mania feeds itself. I just want more more more of everything when I'm there. The meds keep me functioning but ruin the buzz. I think that's the way sleep feels too. It's like a buzzkill. Alcohol is the devil. I know that for sure and it makes the mania more dangerous and dysphoric.
I want sparkling sun, invincible, running through fields of flowers mania back!