Quote:
Originally Posted by IrisBloom
I think I understand you. If you remove the "safety net" of self termination, that leaves...a big nothing. IMO it's natural to have a fear of the unknown future, even if it looks positive.
I think it's also natural to have a fear of aging and not knowing what or who will be there if the worst happens. I recently took steps about this issue myself. (Taking care of my future, not sui.) I want to live. I want to be part of my family and friends futures. I want to watch all of my grandkids and future grandkids grow up. I don't mind suffering a little and having normal life stresses, but...sometimes.........the future seems like something I don't want to stick around for.
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the bolded, red part. Me. Now. Not being able to bear another minute of living with the sword of Damocles poised above my head, I had the "what will become of me?" conversation with the only member of my family that I trust not to abandon me and they said they'd take care of me if/when it comes to that.
I was so relieved I thought I was going to pass out.
Of course, relating the conversation to a friend last night I realized for the first time how my destiny may - in the final analysis - all come down to this one person, my family member - and that scared me all over again. What if something happens to
them? Then what?
Dexter, I hope that your family/friends give you the assurance that I can understand you may need. It's difficult to come out of the shadows - we're safe there (albeit isolated, lonely and sad). The sun, while brilliantly beautiful, can burn until we adjust.