i have went through the religious stuff with my family - i still do ...
my mother was a preacher - protestant christian - and i was raised on those beliefs pretty hard core... my whole family is christian - i am the only one that will come out and blatantly say without fear "im not a christian" and "i hate religion"
and of course they give me strange looks and say things but it doesnt bother me anymore... i started my spiritual conquest when i was 13 years old... so im used to a lot of different judgements and attitudes...
i guess what im trying to say - search for the truth - your truth... what makes sense to you, you have the right to decide what to believe in... you dont have to submit blindly to someone elses faith especially if you dont agree with it...
my life is a mess though, i went through a lot of stuff.. i renounced all of that religious stuff, not saying that god isnt real and that jesus is a fake or anything - not attacking any religions or anything because i respect oter peoples beliefs... but for me i had had enough... i couldn't believe in that stuff anymore because it didnt make sense to ME...
i started researching my own thoughts, looking for answers, all of that... im at peace with my spirituality - i just wish i had a bit of divine help sometimes....
but i go through the judgements of all my family telling me things like if i dont start reading the bible and going to church im gonna go to hell... if i dont do this and stop doing this then im going to be tortured in horrible ways...
( i guess what they dont realize is i already live in hell here on earth with these mental disorders... )
all the time hearing bible verses why im wrong and that im a heathen for not blindly following every single thing they say ....
it just doesnt bother me anymore though because i just look at them like they are really confused and that they dont know what really is real....
follow your heart, read many many things... seek the truths you are looking for, if the religion isn't right for you then i think that is just fine, just try to respect that others have different beliefs too and that is their choice just as its your choice...
i am still searching - i think its a life long search... but you learn everyday about yourself and spirituallity, about what god is or could be... just explore it and try not to fall into a trap - like a cult...
i am spiritual but not religious... dunno if you maybe would like to read about that type of thing... you dont have to follow a religion to be close to god.... or to beable to believe in a creator or source...
personally i have an extremely abstract way of thinking about what we are - what god is - what the point of all this is... and i dont know if i can put it into words...
need to have another intelligent person sit down with me to try to articulate these abstract... īmages i have in my mind... because its like pictures - not words... hard to describe what i see ya know ...
i know that customs are different in other parts of the world, so please dont do something that will get you in a lot of trouble ok?
i just think that every individual human being has the right to express themselves...
we are all unique .... and you are special...
dont let someone telling you these bad things make you feel bad about yourself, because you are probably a really nice person - just looking for answers...
15 years is still young, im 26 years and im still young...
there is time to figure things out, to work things out... dont try to rush things, just try to follow your heart - let that intuition guide you...
im not saying you are too young to know anyhting, because clearly you are inteligent ... and you are searching for answers because you are posting on forums ....
well im going to stop writing there -
but please post more, if you want and feel like talking more, i would love to try to help if i can... 15 years is a tough age... you're growing into an adult and you're trying to figure yourself out, its important that you have good support...
i think people here would try to offer you good support...
i know its not always easy to see a doctor... so maybe talking here will help a little - help figure out what to do maybe...
much love...
stay strong....