Naia,

I'm sorry that your going through this and I really wish there was something I could do to help you. I understand being in an abusive situation and how tangled up it can get, especially when therapists and other professionals get involved. One thing that has helped me is working on self-empathy or self-compassion. This has been helpful lately because of all the judgment I've endured not only from others, but the internalized judgment I place on myself. I have no practical answers but please know that I care.