im trying to deal with a GP now... i have already been diagnosed so she doesnt have to try to diagnose me or anything - just want her to give me my meds... but she doesnt want to give me anything but the wellbutrin... i've tried so many of them i know what i want... know more than her about it really :/

i think the place i go to though is under heavy surveillance for controlled substances though... must be like an audit thing?
so maybe thats why she wont give me the meds

maybe you have better luck at your GP

but you must be really careful starting meds... especially if you already are suicidal... or having suicidal ideations....
sometimes starting meds in the beginning can make it worse... just have to pay extra attention to yourself when starting them ok?
at any sign it seems to be getting worse call the doctor immediately...
that way a professional can tell you what to do... if what they say doesnt make sense then i dunno, call 911 ?
maybe someone else know what to really do?

here a few excerpts from an article here: 10 Signs Your Antidepressant Isn't Working - Depression Center - Everyday Health






im not saying it will happen to you - you may feel better quickly after starting them too - i just want you to be aware... it can happen that it gets worse and thats just a reaction to the medication... but since you are in a fragile state i want you to be safe - so please take care

from the above quotes basicly what could happen is - the depression gets worse - increasing suicidal tenancies... the depression is flipped because of the antidepressant into mania which mean you have bipolar... or you get a fast placebo affect

medication can really help, i just believe in being educated if you are going to take medication...
i dont mean read all of the side effects!! because that can be a bad thing too
but i think they give you pamplets with the medication that tells all of that stuff...

anyway - adhd on... i will stop rambling, maybe you should give the gp a shot - gp might can even give you referals