So I have had trauma and it has been suggested I might have PTSD although I have never been formally diagnosed.

I have had intrusive memories, repressed memories etc to do with the trauma before.

But yesterday, out of nowhere a memory which is not directly related to the trauma (although it could be argued a by product of it) hit me. It is something that I did that I am deeply ashamed of and did when I was drunk (don't ask I won't say, but I didn't hurt anyone or anything like that). But I forgot that it happened and carried on with life for years until yesterday when I finally remembered.

I feel distraught and hate myself for this. It is so against everything I stand for and have stood for over my whole life. It makes no sense when I look at who I am as a person. Frankly it terrified me. I realised how mentally ill and disturbed I must be...

I have contacted a counselling service for help and am devoting myself to recovery from all my compulsive behaviours including drinking, self harm etc.

But I am confused about if this might be related to PTSD. Everything I have read about memory is that the brain throws up memory of the trauma. But would it throw up memories like this too?

I am terrified...