Please keep trying until you find someone who will listen and can offer the help you are seeking.

When I was suicidal I tried calling a hotline. The person on the phone was unsympathetic and said critical, judgemental things about what I was saying.

It was my first ever call to a hotline. I hung up in disbelief. But I decided that the act of calling indicated that there was a part of me that did not want to go through with it, so I called the number again. This time I got a helpful person who guided me to get to a hospital, and stayed with me on the line while I arranged for a friend to pick me up and take me there.

Help is out there but there are also paths that unfortunately lead the wrong way. Keep trying.