Quote:
Originally Posted by Zbeara
Yeah that was probably a big part of the problem was that I needed a sort of emotional structure that I didn't have. I don't think I had a terrible childhood though. What I hate is what all of the problems turned into later in life. So I guess the real problem was my parents lack of ability to deal with negative spirals and with an inability to handle difficult emotions.
That's really interesting though. What was it like for you?
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Possible trigger:
My mother beat me, strangled me, threw me down the stairs, burned me with cigarettes, waterboarded me in the bathtub, ect ect. But at the same time, she was willing to buy me all the pot and alcohol I wanted from a young age, let me watch whatever I wanted on TV, but god forbid I smile too much or cry. She and my father also kicked me out of their home when I was 12, but when I'd get brought back would pretend I ran away and act happy to see me. I had to ask my grandparents for school clothes and supplies for xmas and birthdays because my parents wouldn't buy them. My grandparents praised me for being sensible. My dad cooked meth in one of the houses we lived in and I had a head to toe rash from it for almost a year. No one took me to the doctor. I ate bugs and things from the couch because we didn't get fed every day. I was the oldest, so I started caring for my 4 siblings by age 4, and my mother wanted me to drop out in 6th grade (after I'd been kicked out) and come home to care for them full time.
I put it all in the trigger box because describing it is pretty bad. Needless to say, long story short, it was pretty terrible. This isn't all of it, but a pretty good synopsis.