I've always been hyper-sensitive to noise too. I am a big believer in desensitizing myself now, and have gotten a bit better over time by exposing myself to it on purpose little by little. Many times the abuser will claim they never abused their victim or act like they don't remember it. It's because they feel bad about it, but don't want to deal with those feelings, or with the idea that they might be a bad person. Don't let what she says invalidate you. Your feelings are completely valid, and not your fault.