Dump plan A for now. Think of all the energy this takes & pick Something to put that energy into-----it doesn't matter what it is right now---seriously recommend immediate physical activity (ride a bike or walk to work if you can) and a craft/hobby type activity (look for a meetup or class in your area and force yourself to go...) --wash the car by hand, start a garden indoors or out...run till you can't anymore...
We all get to die. You won't miss out on this. You have been around a while now and you Know that it isn't always this bad, even if you have a helluva time recalling anything positive right now.
You are a librarian? Any gatherings at the library? Events? Places you could decorate/set up displays/something you could start?