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sunrise said:
almedafan, are you talking about confiding in a friend? I think we all need support in our lives and it is good to reach out to friends and family.

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Yes having some support would be nice. He's a friend and all we are doing at this point is talking.

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sunrise said:
We can't expect the therapist to be our sole support.

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This is how I feel. I shouldn't be calling him between sessions like last week. He's too busy for that and let's face it, he can't be the friend I want and he shouldn't be...

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sunrise said:
I hesitate to say this because I don't want to make assumptions, but could it be what you mean is you would like to have an affair with someone?

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maybe? I don't know this is one of my triggers. Others here have their triggers and mine is love and attention related. I want to find the right person for me and be loved and happy.

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sunrise said:
If so, I would offer the view that that will not solve anything. You have mentioned before there is stress in your marriage, and it seems the honest and honorable thing to do is resolve that first before taking on new partners.

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Can't disagree with any of the above.

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sunrise said:
For example, at least get separated first. If all you are wanting the partner for is support, then does it need to be an affair? Instead, could you cultivate friendships that can offer you the support you need?

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A much better idea. I do have one close girlfriend and she's out of town right now until the 11th.

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sunrise said:
Also, think of your son. It sends a powerful message to a child to know one parent betrayed the other. And at some point in his life, he will find out. To the child, it can feel like one parent has betrayed the family.

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That is the only thing stopping me from going further is my son. I should clarify that if the marriage does end, I never intend to bring anyone around my son. I can date in private.

He has a father and I don't need someone else telling me what's wrong with me and lie to me. I've been through this enough.

My son won't be seeing his mother do anything...ever.

I'm glad you posted Sunny, I'm re-thinking...I have a session tomorrow and will talk to T about this. He won't be shocked. He and I have discussed when I find the right person for me...I hope this doesn't disappoint him that I've been thinking this way.

I'll find out tomorrow I guess