Thanks for all the replies. Sorry I have been delayed in posting back. These last few weeks have been messed up! My therapist is working with me on PTSD and dissociation ... stemming from childhood trauma ... all of this is far to overwhelming and I just don't know what is going on. My T asked some simple questions weeks ago that I answered honestly because to me it really didn't seem that bad. And the one memory I did have, although bothered me all these years, didn't control me. Well now it is! I wish I had just kept my mouth shut and not answered his questions. Now everything is so completely messed up! My lack of sleep isn't helping either ... every night I wake at approx 2am and then that is it for me. I am finding it hard even to go to work each day ... luckily I have my own office and I can close my door but I know eventually I will have to suck it up and get some work done. My T says I have a child ego state that keeps coming forward, and to me I have no idea I just know I feel completely out of my body and find it so hard to concentrate. I am scheduled to see a psychiatrist in May, and until then I have 10 Ativan to hold me over. I just have no idea what is going on. But I have a feeling I will be posting here more often. I really do appreciate your replies.