RE: Perna, She said 18 months (into the relationship making her 38.5) I said 4 years (making her 41).

RE: Sunrise, it's her ultimate purpose in life. It's children asap or she's going to find someone older, more mature, who can do that in her mind, despite being madly in love with me. I've already critisized her for treating me like a disposable sperm donor and she really freaked out and was very humbled & apologised.

RE: Cheri, thanks for the insight.

Obviously that timeframe is accelerated by her need to have kids now and not later. Her being on the borderline and the specialist she saw told her she is losing 20% chance a year to have kids. This has her in a state of total anxiety over it - she will do anything to have kids.

Ok so options wise:
We looked at IVF/freezing eggs, though that's a road I am very adverse to going down she has made plans to do this anyway! It's more in line with my timeframes than hers but she isn't taking any chances there either way. She's doing this because "37 yo eggs are better than 38 yo eggs" and she wants more than one child.

She underestimates the 24/7 responsibility of kids and thinks she can manage it all herself - be the mother, provider and carer at the same time while I'm mostly busy and she is always busy. Our relationship would break down under the pressure of full time and a half study/work loads of over 60 hrs/week each and rotating caring for the newborn child.

If I broke it off now I wouldn't be surprised if she went a little crazy and started looking for sperm donors to impregnate herself and raise kids by herself while she shopped for a new, older, lonely financially secure man who was willing to help out. This completely excludes me from the picture and I would like to continue to see her.
She is really on a mission with this..

She is probably capable of raising a single child in childcare on her own. She is certainly the most capable woman I've ever met. She wouldn't be happy that way alone. She wants a traditional family but she's just left it to the last freaking minute in her life and so it's so urgent.
It's a shame I need the time.
I really didn't understand exactly what I was in for when we fell in love, that it was 'the one' and I don't want to wreck her dreams by stringing this out in counselling and resolving that it's irresolvable.
So I hope that works something out!!!

I also want to stay with her because of our relationship and it'd really hurt her to break it off, we'd both really suffer if that happened. So I'm really conflicted.

She has her own home which is big enough for one kid, but we'd have to sell up and move in three years time and I can see how it'd go, she'd resent me for moving away from her relatives.
Same thing happened to my parents and caused them to eventually split because of the property market here going up 300% in 18 months and my father getting and taking a job offer far away. Last year the property market here went up another 45%! that's after 18 years of consecutive double digit growth due to a mining boom inflating salaries and faster economic growth than China in our state.
Moving where all the work is for me and the bigger houses near that work are 1/3rd the price of what they are here is just common sense but it's away from her comfort zone, her life and family. She doesn't deal well out of her zone at all.

Thoughts:
1. Doomed, perfect girl, wrong time, a real heartbreak?
2. Deal with it and do my best to make it work?
3. Forget these questions, why do I have to think so much.
4. Get her a frontal labotomy and make her my bride of frankenstein, give her a puppy, like they did in the good old days!?
5. Find her a good husband and secretly impregnate her, then move on.
6. Feel guilty about thinking of 5.
7. Marry her and just try anything.
8. Knock her up, let it break down and support the kid while she finds a new guy. Live a disfunctional life of regrets and cheap flings as a sad writer like David Decovany in Californication.
9. Feel bad about watching that smutty show.
10. Feel good about 7.