How do I not "choose sides"? Do I break up with my boyfriend and not have any friends? Do I not talk to any other grad students ever again? Talking to another grad student is considered choosing sides. It's most likely because I'm friendly with (not even close friends) one person that another person decided to screw me over because they have some sort of weird feud. So do I need to never talk to her again? She's actually someone who's been nice to me and someone I could be friends with if I knew how to make and maintain friendships.

There are so many things out of my control that cause me to inadvertently choose sides. The fact that I don't have a teaching assistantship, the fact that my dad is in another field, the fact that I'm female. Maybe I should just hide who I am even more? It's clearly because I don't try to be a carbon copy of everyone else that I'm unlikable to most people. Am I only allowed my own opinions as long as I agree with everyone else? What's so wrong with respectfully disagreeing with someone?

I didn't think being different meant I deserved to be bullied and shunned. But then again, that's probably one of those opinions that I'm supposed to not have.