Before I proceed, I am very grateful to my uni friends, my family, my boyfriend, my old friends not from uni, and a lot of other people in my life that have helped me who I am become today.

I am also grateful to all who might or might not finish reading the relatively long text below.

There are a few aspects of my life which i have problems with.


1. Number One - Friend Zack
A friend of mine, let's call him Zack. He claims to have depression and bipolar disorder and I believe him completely. He's much happier and much better than last time. He used to sulk and take out his anger and temper of his friends and he hates everyone (he still does) due to his past heart breaks in terms of family and relationships (esp the latter). He has a heart condition and a currently a girlfriend. They're fine.

But when they're not fine, no matter where our group of friends and what they're doing, he will immediately become silent and put on this sulky face (usu. it's always a problem he claims to have about his girlfriend) and he'll treat the rest of us with indifference (shrugs, ignorance), and it has happened a lot of times. It really kills the mood and it's extremely rude. I get that he's depressed, but nowadays he seems to have crossed the fine line between depression and immaturity.

Before he got a girlfriend, he hung out with us all the time and he was fine. When he felt sad he sulked in a corner with his earphones and everyone just left him alone. Usually it was me and another female friend who talked to him and cheer him up. Now that he got a girlfriend, he doesn't hang out with us and clings to her 24/7 and when she has class he comes and finds us and we basically pressured to be with him.

Whenever I'm doing work, he would always ask what am I doing.That's fine, but every time i'm doing work, he would check on my progress every minute, pressuring me, annoying me, saying that i didn't do much today, or giving some comment. He thinks he's being straightforward and people don't "like" him because of that, honestly i think he's being a jerk. All those times I was there for him, and he takes it for granted.

2. Family problems
My mom and my elder sister. I walk on eggshells every day when I'm around them. Basically in a scenario with my mom, like going for a jog.

"Do you want to go for a jog?"
"No thanks mom i'm kinda busy right now."
"Busy with what?"
"With work."
"What work? On your phone? So you're busy texting your friends?"
"Okay, fine, i'll go jogging."
"Didn't you say you were busy with work?"
"It's fine."
"Are you sure you want to go jogging?"
"MOM, it's FINE."
"Why are you so stressed? Why do you always yell?"
..

My elder sister:
"Hand me the scissors in that red box"
"Is it this box, sis?"
"No, the other one."
"This one?"
"NO ARE YOU ****ING BLIND"

My elder brother? I told him I managed to get a spot for an overseas internship program and he basically just told me "ok, but who's paying for it?"

my family. is a combination of eggshells and financial problems. i'm the one who's causing problems. I'm the problem. I matter not. I'm always the one being dramatic. I wish my mom didn't have to work so hard. My elder sister and my elder brother has been working for years and i have no idea where their money went off to. My education is a nuisance. I'm a nuisance.

Maybe this is just a trifling issue and I'm being a tad dramatic because of my horrible self-esteem.. I'm just useless. I'm a horrible person for complaining so much. I just needed to rant. I'm sorry if it's selfish.

Any advice on what to do for the above 2 scenes is appreciated. I really, really appreciate everyone here on PC, whether they read this or not.

Thank you.