I have not been on lately because I was going through the last weeks of my life of my Dad's life. He died very very peacefully. The last two days he was asleep and very comfortable and peaceful. Quite a spiritual experience for me actually shortly after.

The visitation, service, and luncheon were very nice and 100's of people showed up.

Now that that is all over and it is just my Mom and I here it will get harder. Over the last three months of going through this a lot of time I was hypomanic but when a period of activity or visitors was over I would hit a three to four day fairly severe depressions.

I am much more vulnerable now that it has all settled down.

Also every year for many many years I get a very bad cyclical depression the first part of spring when it gets warm. Last May I was severely depressed the whole month and almost checked myself inpatient. I went to crisis walk in instead and got to talk to an experienced therapist right away that got the crisis over. Then within a couple of days I totally popped out of it and had the greatest summer I had had in years.

Giving myself permission to grieve and feel however I feel at whatever moment is important for me. Also getting the support I need and to be able to get away from the house when I need to.