give yourself an hour a day (or one at the beginning, another at the end...or whatever) to do just that (wallow that is....)---keep in practice but leave it aside for a time also, even though it seems IMPOSSIBLE....it is not...as you said "i want to wallow...." --this is not a black and white place (& therein lies the rub...)---act it out as wildly (while safely---be on stage in a play...sans audience/imagined audience)---these things occur to me
I just went out and raked the winter hay off the vegetable garden, trying to inure myself to the notion that life, once again, consists of letting go of each and every dream in its turn.....sometimes, in the sun, wind, the calling of birds, clucking of chickens, barking of dogs, there is "enough"....it works for a while, needs frequent repetition....