I've been in therapy for a few months now and I still get flustered before my session.

I'm writing this today because I've started getting butterflies, I get them because I'm nervous about going to therapy. I'm not going until the end of the week but I still find myself getting more nervous as the days go by. My nerves set off my anxiety and going to therapy becomes really difficult. I feel like I have to force myself to go, I have an internal battle with my wills. Only once has my will not go taken over and I haven't gone to therapy, but my T called and we rescheduled for the next day.

This thread ties in with two other threads I've written about disassociation and therapy. I feel like I am becoming a problem to myself. My T mentioned that sometimes when she sees me, it's like there's a part of you already missing.
I have decided that I have to stop hiding behind my hair during therapy, so I'll be wearing it in a pony tail, I'll be trying some grounding techniques people have suggested in the other thread, and I'm going to try and make eye contact more than once. Those three things alone are quite overwhelming to think about, and I'm trying not to put too much pressure on myself (I'm hoping to one of each at least once).

I was wondering if, even after a few months, if anyone else still has this anxiety.
The weird thing is I do trust my T, and I do feel safe with her. So I have no idea how I can be confident and happy about my T and the therapy sessions when I'm away from the centre, crippled with anxiety the day of my session and completely shut down during my session. I need a way to train my brain to connect the confident feelings to going to therapy rather than the anxiety, but I don't know how. Any advice is greatly needed and appreciated.