I'm sorry you don't feel validated
I've had that feeling of being blocked too....not so much with actual disclosure. If I brought a memory my T would actually be more likely to jump in and take me right back there, sometimes I didn't feel ready but it was always helpful....

But when you said you didn't know if you were allowed, and T didn't give you reassurance, I really empathise with that. I have wanted for ages for T to give me permission to see and say something from a different viewpoint, and she hasn't. I have felt that she has kind of blocked that, and disapproved of it somehow. It has been really difficult for me. I ended up phoning a helpline and doing it with them instead.

Probably, my T wanted me to say what I needed and wanted, rather than sort of manipulating her to give me reassurance, but I can't always do that.