The colleagues I'm around the most have worked on cruise ships. I haven't. So while their stories are interesting, I can't really contribute anything. I seem to be around predominantly jazz musicians. I play jazz but I don't think about it the same way so I'm not a "real" jazz musician. Besides, I'm actually able to play other genres of music, so that by definition would make me not a "real" jazz musician. But it's hard to have a conversation with most of them because all they talk about is jazz. Or cruise ships. Or military bands, which again I have no experience in. Or they were in touring groups. The only group I've played with extensively didn't tour. They never needed to as they would get multiple gigs a week locally.

I'd hate to ask questions in front of other people because I don't want people to know what I don't know. And what would I comment on? I don't want to interrupt. If I try to talk, most of the time someone just talks over me anyway. I don't know if it's so much about fear but about I don't understand the mechanics. I'm ignored in a group conversation anyway, mainly based on body language. I'm not one to just yell over people until they stop talking and listen to me. To me, that's rude. But there's rarely any point that there's a pause big enough that I can think of what to say.