I hate banging, too! I have a really hard time with any house sounds--since I was abused at home. It makes living in one a little tough!

I think it must be hard to train your brain to see that you're safe now when you are still living with the people who were once dangerous. I think you will be doing damage control and managing the fears until you are on your own. (That said, I still have lots of fears while living away from my family, but I can at least look around and know I am safe from them). Do you have a safe place you can go to that is away from their home to use as a respite? Library, cafe, etc?