the blow up continues . i think i said something about blowing up my life on wednsday by having a major melt down at the craft store . a crazy lady who once was a friend just treated me like crap for the last time and i went off on her and all who thought she was funny . everyone was all like sorry and so on and then found out the person was right back at the store the next day hanging with the owner who i thought was a friend but now know differently. how can life and this world be so messed up how can i always get it so so wrong all the time . im useless and i should know these people were not my friends . people like me dont have friends . god i just want to die . i know ill beat the crap out of myself tonight but that wont even matter any more .