I suffer from depression and anxiety, I'm on medication which I'm not really taking at the moment (Sertraline 50mg) and I don't know how long I can cope living the way I do.

I used to see a mental health worker regularly (once every week or two weeks) and she came to my house for an hour. She helped for a bit but then I started going downhill again. Then she stopped working, no idea why, and it took 3 months for me to start seeing someone new. This woman is useless, she only has time to see me once a month and I really don't like her. To be honest, the woman I saw before was the first person I didn't mind talking to in years.

I was in hospital last year (July and August) (just in general hospital) for overdoses, twice in the space of 3 weeks, and the mental health team still didn't want to admit me to hospital. My mum didn't want me to go either, and no one would listen to me when I said I was scared of hurting myself again. My boyfriend has been a big help and he's stopped me from attempting suicide again, so had my puppy (I got her last September to help with my depression) but now I'm going back downhil and I'm not entirely sure I want to get better anymore. Part of me does, part of me feels that's only going to happen if I get admitted into hospital but that's not going to happen - nhs barely admit people to hospital unless they are literally about to kill themselves.

My life is quickly going bad again, I don't remember to take my meds, I barely eat, I barely shower or get dressed and the only time I leave my room is when I sit in the lounge with my dog and watch tv (from 10am until about 5pm), and I rarely move out of my spot the entire day. It's affecting my dog because I barely walk her, my mum walks her on an evening and my boyfriend tires her out when he comes round, but I rarely ever leave the house anymore unless I'm with my boyfriend (my anxiety makes it difficult to leave) and when I do leave, it's usually only to go to McDonald's in which case I don't get out of the car.

I don't know what to do anymore, I feel like I'm falling into a big black hole and I'm not going to be able to get out.