I hope you find the strength and courage to get through this.
A good start would be to care about yourself enough to take whatever it is you've hidden to harm with and turn it in to the nurse's station ...
It's been 23 years for me, and looking back I'm so proud of how far I've come because back then I never thought it would get better ... It took about 7 years before things even began to look up a little ... The rest of it hasn't been a walk in the park, but even so, I'm glad I've held on and made different decisions that have made this very moment in time possible!
Sincerely,
Pfrog!