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baraxador · 04:50 PM

I was reading about not feeling bad when killing animals on another forum (link at bottom if anyone wants to read it) and there is something I wonder about at least weekly.

Let's say there are two people. One was abused and treated badly, and as a result of this became a psychologically unhealthy person, as in no regard for others safety, likes to kill etc. And one is from a nice background, lived a relatively normal life but exhibits the same traits as the other person. What could be done about the latter one? The first one could be helped with having better friends, family etc. but the second one already had this all, yet they are even in worse condition than the first.

My family isn't really in the best condition, with physical and mental abuse, cheating and other stuff. But most of this wasn't done to me. I wasn't abused physically and neither really mentally. I don't talk to my father, I stayed away from my family for 3 years but these aren't much compared to my siblings'. My siblings are in far better conditions than I am, are times better persons than I am, and generally more humane. What could be the reasons for this? Does this mean I'm just a worse person? What would I have become if I were abused like they were?

On another unrelated topic, another issue I have is the concept of edginess. I'm 16, and many of my peers act in a particular way, which gets described as edgy. Now when I act or feel in such ways, I always think to myself that my actions must be due to my age. But when I talk to my peers about stuff like this they call me weird and creepy.

Possible trigger:

Last winter I went hunting, and I loved killing birds, skinning and eating them. I loved it so much I dream about it sometimes, and I'd give anything to hunt more. But when I talked about this to my friends they called me a freak for enjoying pushing my finger through their little bodies to clean them

this was just an example, and certainly not the worst one. Now I'm in a split about what to think, should I just leave it be because these type of thoughts are normal at my age, or are my friends right and I'm weird? I'll be visiting a psychologist soon, but for another reason and am thinking wether or not I should mention these issues.

Thanks for reading!

(Here's the post I was talking about : I don't feel guilty about killing animals and others : Living With Mental Illness Forum - Psych forums)