It sounds to me like you have started to feel that bond. I don't think there's anything wrong with being a little more distant, especially if you have your own issues. There are so many ways to mess up parenting, and lots of the worst parents probably feel like they've done nothing wrong.

I don't know if this is the case with you, but because in some of my moods I feel such "intense" feelings for people, I think I got in my head that if I didn't feel that about someone turned up that high all the time (or even 40% of that), it wasn't enough. What you describe - you love her, you looked out for her, she's a great kid. That sounds like a great parent to me.

I think what is bipolar is the tendency to want to hate ourselves for some perceived inadequacies that may not even be there. I can't give advice there - when I find myself doing that (about anything) though I try to remind myself at least to start that there's no upside to indulging those feelings.