Quote:
Originally Posted by BudFox
I'm not saying more therapist self-disclosure is better. I'm not saying less would be better. I'm suggesting that it's so difficult to find this elusive balance, not because the therapist is screwed up or is using the wrong approach, but because the whole relationship is so contorted and contrived -- in my experience. My last therapist did not know how to respond to half of what I said because of all the whacked out constraints and rules. Anything said by either of us was scrutinized under the microscope. Every gesture, every facial expression, even the silences were analyzed for their therapeutic meaning.
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I wasn't referring to just self-disclosure, but yes, i totally agree that it can be very difficult to navigate feelings, therapy.
No judgment about your thoughts and feelings about the industry. And if this is how you are grieving, it's just as good as any and it seems to be helping you (as far as i can tell). I also think there are many flaws, but it's really all we have when it comes to therapy.
I do want to tell you though, that I've shared all of my intense feelings with my therapist-including maternal 'erotic' transference, infant-like feelings, and other deep stuff, and he was always steady and accepting of it. There were times when i felt he was rejecting, often just coincidences, but at no time did he EVER react like your therapist did. He had enough experience with this that he knows it dissipates in time as when managed correctly, these intense transference feelings often do. And some therapists are good at containment.
I've had a similiar experience with another therapist who had the same kind of training. So, it's hard for me to see that it's the industry that's mostly at fault. I think your therapist f-ed up, causing you harm. You said something in another post about not wanting to assign blame to her. But maybe she is to blame, BudFox.