thanks bebop. thing is life sucks anyway so regret is something im so used to. reading on this site is keeping me sane though. or as sane as i can be! its getting me out of my own head. lord only knows what id be doing right now if i wasnt here. PC really is a saviour.
any idea though what is the right thing when you re in a state like this? cant sit still without watching tv, reading online and listening to music at the same time to keep myself occupied. reading anything sensitive sends me straight into dissociation where i can read the same thing three plus times and not have a clue what id says. and thats befoe the alcohol.
meditation this evening would have done my head in because theres no way i could have concentrated at all. it would have been a crying fest if anything. writing felt like tearing my own heart out. i felt too sick and tired to exercise. so what does that leave in the way of healty coping strategies? i tried watching kids programes to calm my inner child earlier and i went from objectively criticing them to wantig to cry. i was out of ideas so wine won.
i know. just shoot me. lol. a bottle and a half is just about enough to calm me but not enough to send me to bed or to particularly addle my brain. especially when i ve been drinking every day since thursday. now if i started the liquore i have i might be in trouble! lol.
thanks for posting though bebop. please ignore this ramble. you have so much going on yourself.
((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))) for you too. thanks again.