That's really interesting Unaluna! Only minutes before i posted this, i was looking at an article that spoke about "catastrophe motivation" that explains exactly this.

I've always had high stress, high demanding jobs, constant deadlines and having to 'do' something, living in fight or flight. It does seem that now that my life is even keel, calm, and relatively predictable, kids are grown, less stress....i cannot get motivated. Even growing up, from the little i can remember, i was always afraid or worried because of my parents and sibling.

So I wonder if my motivation structure, as in the chemical processes, is just damaged, and if this is something that has to be fixed physically or if it something i can "will" myself to change? I've been struggling with this for too long.