Quote:
Originally Posted by ex vivo
No judgment about your thoughts and feelings about the industry. And if this is how you are grieving, it's just as good as any and it seems to be helping you (as far as i can tell). I also think there are many flaws, but it's really all we have when it comes to therapy.
I do want to tell you though, that I've shared all of my intense feelings with my therapist-including maternal 'erotic' transference, infant-like feelings, and other deep stuff, and he was always steady and accepting of it. There were times when i felt he was rejecting, often just coincidences, but at no time did he EVER react like your therapist did. He had enough experience with this that he knows it dissipates in time as when managed correctly, these intense transference feelings often do. And some therapists are good at containment.
I've had a similiar experience with another therapist who had the same kind of training. So, it's hard for me to see that it's the industry that's mostly at fault. I think your therapist f-ed up, causing you harm. You said something in another post about not wanting to assign blame to her. But maybe she is to blame, BudFox.
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Thanks re: grieving. It's a pretty dysfunctional way of coping but I don't have other options currently. And it forces me to clarify what I am thinking.
My therapist reacted more or less ok for a while. But there was nothing therapeutic happening. She was making me into an addict. And when I started acting like an addict, she freaked and wanted out. Glad yours is handling it ok, but I don't understand what the end-game is in such scenarios nor even what the hypothesis is. For me it is too much like russian roulette. I also think that once a client professes love or longing or attachment, the T is now potentially pursuing their own fix.
My T is definitely responsible. But I still think she is a victim of the system and the culture. Her training taught her to believe certain delusions about her powers to help and even transform people. Seeing me crash and burn caused her to face that. She did that briefly then covered it all up again so that she could carry on.