> For me I have evolved.. into really separate very distinct alters.. not sure what the "techie" term is... I want to perserve these very distinct alters..

So over time... Your condition has deteriorated. Putnam says something about how the majority of people with DID exhibit only 'transient windows of diagnosability prior to therapy' but that with therapy (a little encouragement) people become more split.

What does being split buy you? A way to express things that you wouldn't express otherwise? A way of being able to deny that you said / did things after the fact if the memory of having said / done that is just too painful?

Wouldn't it... Be better if you could learn to express the things that you express when switched in your present state? Wouldn't it be better if... You remembered what you had said / done so you could take better responsibility for what you had said / done? Wouldn't it be better if... Instead of pushing things away because they seem just too painful you were able to experience some of those things in a gentle way so that the pain was manageable and you didn't need to push them away any more?

I don't really understand what being fragmented buys you.

Of course I understand that it is a strategy to deal with stuff when there simply aren't any other coping strategies that are available that you can utilise. It is an understandable response. But present circumstances are different. Your therapist isn't going to hurt you, so things are safer. Your therapist can teach you alternative coping strategies so that you can deal with stuff without having to switch.

I don't understand what being fragmented buys you now...