^^^ THIS. SO MUCH THIS!!! ^^^

I live in fear every single day of losing a loved one over this.
Also, I've been on these boards for 5 1/2 years, and I never cried so hard as for 2 people who lost loved ones to opiates. You've been here longer than me and we want to keep it that way!

Aside from the mania possibility, I've run away (though nowhere near as far) when highly agitated. I didn't know WHERE I wanted to go, just that I had to.

Whatever it is, it does sound like a med adjustment might be in order. Also, maybe stress is part of this(?) Sounds like it might be. Are there some things you can do to help that? Like have some "you time" to decompress?