I, like you, have suffered from severe "treatment-resistant" depression for as long as I can remember.

I had also given up on meds ever helping. A little over a year ago I was referred up to a specialized clinic in outpatient psychiatry at the local looney bin. Something had happened (a really bad, unethical therapy relationship actually), I aldo had just had gastric bypass surgery and lied (I admit it) about my mental health in order for them to do it, and then 2 gallbladder surgeries, a painful ending to a job I'd worked at part time for a long time (grad student), and my depression/self harm tendencies had gotten so bad that I ended up there, which (embarrassingly) is where the worst cases end up. Anyway, the first positive thing in all this was finding a really smart, competent pdoc, also trained in psych pharmacology.

At this point I figured I had tried everything in the universe medication wise and decided antidepressants were just placebos. But I agreed to try again, expecting him to haul out one of the few SSRIs I hadn't been on. Instead I ended up on Parnate (an MAOI, like mentioned above). As badly as I am still doing, I don't think I would have survived without the Parnate.

Have you tried anything luke this? I know MAOIs tend to be the final thing pdocs will try because they have dangerous food interactions and side effects (even after a year, I get very dizzy when I stand up quite often). I don't mind these, although most people do. But have you ever tried anything like a tricyclic (Amitriptyline?), or something like Abilify? SSRIs did absolutely nothing for me in the almost 15 yrs I was on them (I'm 33, so my entire adult life).

Another thing that really did help was finding a therapist willing to work very slowly from the "bottom up." We made an eating plan and schedule, a list of cleaning stuff to do, daily tasks (dishes, etc), and she helped me learn to forgive myself for getting that way in the first place. Deptession and guilt really go hand in hand, the way we speak to ourselves.