Thanks Pfrog!

What annoys me about the "victim mentality" blame game is this: if someone really has one, if the concept is valid, it can't possibly be pleasant to put oneself in a victim role all the time. For every victim, there has to be a victimizer, therefore to me the "victim mentality" is like a form of induced masochism that just repeats itself. So, is berating or criticizing a person roleplaying (reliving, in a sense) a victim role likely to make them less masochistic or less self-blaming? I doubt it! That's like yelling at a person with a broken leg for not moving any faster. It's not going to heal the leg!!

(Major rant edited out. Too much caffeine, lol.)

I guess what I'm saying is, if someone really is repeatedly putting themselves in a subordinate position and attacking themselves, it makes sense to break the news gently and actually help.