Integration isn't about 'getting rid of' or 'killing off' or 'denying' or 'avoiding' or 'repressing' alters... It is about better communication between alters.

> I have many, many different friends.. that I would not have if I were "all together"...

Why wouldn't you have those different friends if you were integrated? Part of you clearly clicks with them (because your alters are a part of you). A different part of you doesn't click with them (because that part doesn't "click" with them). There aren't many friends who I don't experience some ambivalence towards, however... It is okay to feel ambivalent about those friends. To not approve of some of the things they say or do... To approve of others... To have mixed feelings about still more... Integration would be about sorting out some of those ambivalent feelings that you are having... Of course you don't have to face the ambivalent feelings... You can supress them... But if you wanted to sort them out so you could have deeper and more meaningful friendships with less ambivalent responses then I guess you would need to sort out the conflicting feelings. That would be... integration of feelings.

I guess I think that integrating beliefs, desires, emotions etc... Will lead to a more satisfying, enjoyable life. A life where you feel some wholeness and security and strength inside you. Where you have the capacity to reflect on those beliefs and desires and emotions etc that are held by each part and where you are able to sort out some of the ambivalences... So that you have a clearer view of what it is that you believe and desire and what it is that you feel. So you are better able to act to achieve your ends.

Different theorists / clinicians of different theoretical orientations have very different ideas of what 'integration' means. I think that certain theoretical orientations... Have a view of 'integration' that is resisted by people... I don't accept those theoretical orientations. Maybe that is why I don't have resistence to the idea (in theory).

Of course it is hard in practice. SOmetimes there seems to be little for me to do but say 'k. thinks xxx and a. thinks yyy and w. thinks zzz and i don't know what i think i just want them (those feelings / thoughts / desires) to go away. it can take a whole session of my reflecting on xxx and yyy and zzz and thinking about the aspect of truth to all of those... reflecting... seeing how all of those can sit together... working through the fears and objections that each part holds... to get to some emergent view (greater than the sum of the parts) that is what I (the whole me) really feels / thinks / desires. Can take a whole session. But to me, that is what integration is about. Integrating xxx and yyy and zzz. And hopefully... By the end of the session, or over the course of a week or whatever I have integrated them satisfactorily.

Then of course the same thing happens again with a different issue...
Then another...
Then another...
Then another...

I think of it as a process. Integration is a process. A way of resolving thoughts / feelings / beliefs / desires that initially seem irreconcilable. I think that the process gets easier over time... Well... I jolly well hope that it gets easier over time. For me... That is what getting better (integrating) is all about... Getting better at that process over time. I figure... That is what supposedly 'normal' people are up to as well...