From what you write it sounds like focusing on making social connections and friendships might be a good place to start, you've already done a bit of this with the coffee shops. Groups, classes, sports, volunteering are some of the ways you could go about this.

Going headlong (or expecting to) into a relationship would be a very big jump from where you are now, not to say it won't happen (lots of people don't meet their life partner until later on in life). To jump to this stage would be like running before you can walk.

The neediness you describe is not who you are, it is something you are experiencing now, you can learn to manage it (you already recognise it which is good), therapy might help with this.