I admit I am clinging to my former idenity and reluctant to establish a new one.

This sounds silly but I saw this morning a Jeep drive by with a bike on the rear rack. Sniff. Minutes later I went across the bridge and realized in previous years I would have had my kayak in the river by about this time. Sniff, Sniff.

Just four years ago I my life was full of extreme adventure. I would say my jeep and kayaks were pretty symbolic of the type of person I was - of WHO I was.

And now, as I take a transit bus across the city I realize that the bus is a symbol of the person I now am.

I am so sad today. I have clung for a few years now to the hope I might once again be that person I used to be.. Oviously that wasn't a good strategy for me and it didn't work well. It has only contributed to the depression I feel as spring and summer approach. Likewise I am reluctant to embrace the life mine has become.