> I do worry.. if full integration "happened".. would I "like" this new "person".... well my response to that.. is that I truely do like and trust all of my alters.. so.. how could I help but like the resulting "new" person.. so that puts a mind at ease..

Yeah. Also... I'm not sure that there is any such thing as 'full integration' because everyone experiences some ambivalences at times and so I guess there will be these ambivalences that need to be worked through for the rest of our lives... But the process should get easier over time :-) And... It should get easier to say 'I kind of think that xxx, but I'm also thinking yyy, and on the other hand zzz seems to be right as well...' Instead of saying 'alter 1 thinks that xxx and alter 2 thinks that yyy and alter 3 thinks that zzz'. Or instead of pronouncing xxx and denying the alternatives then switching to alter 2 who pronounces yyy and denies the alternatives etc etc. Eventually... It becomes about what language we use to describe ourself / ourselves.

With respect to changing of abilities... Maybe less effective is what you need as a person. I mean, sure one can work 3 times as efficiently as others, but is that sustainable long term? What are the negative consequences of doing that? It might be that the step backwards is really a step forward.

> Perhaps.. that is the difference between the ineffective T for DID... and an effective T... I "live" my life now.. and therapy is dealing with "life" events.. not with this theroy of "intergration"...

Maybe dealing better with your responses to life events... Just IS integration. I mean really... What else is integration supposed to be?

I think the answer to the question 'is it better to integrate or not' depends on what one takes integration to be. And I think that what one takes integration to be depends on ones theory of DID / of what is going on with respect to alters. I have to be careful talking about theories of DID / theories of alters here because I've been repeatedly advised that people interpret such discussion as 'debating the existence' and such debate is not allowed. But... Maybe integration is a matter of 'debating the existence' aka: Sorting out ones beliefs as to what is going on and what progress consists in.