'
please dont read....
please dont read....

please dont read....

please dont read....

please dont read....
'


i can some times go a few days... i try to be strong, i dont want to do this stuff...
just days like today... i break down... the only way i can put myself around others is if i bleed a little... to hide it, to have a real pain and see it...
i have been drinking of course, like every day i can... as much as i can and everything... just feel like if i had a little weed i would not have resorted to such a stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid thing....
but its just sometmies some one can make me feel so... im not sure how to explain it... i feel so broken... i hate this .... i hate what i have to live through... i just want a different life... 2 days - now 0... 6 new cuts... but im fine.... i feel a little better... i just dont know why this happens... i want to be normal...
just wish someone could hold me for a while....

what am i supposed to do....

i am clean always... i take care of the wounds... it makes me feel better, like i care for myself... willl take care of myself... but why hurt myself to feel like that... i dunno... im sorry me.... im sorry everyone... i failed again....

sorry... dont want to post this stuff... i just dont have anyone i can turn to... im sorry i let so many people down....

why do people affect me so much... why cant i just disappear....