Ok, I met a girl I'm friends for a little while at a hookah bar who works there. Well she's super close to me now.

I'm in a conditional relationship, it's be close friends and have sex. It's working we smoke together and really enjoy each other. What I am getting what I want is being close to somebody. She's really nice, she's had more sex experience than me it doesn't bother me the least.
She makes sure I'm ok. That's what I was looking for, but we won't be dating. It might be a polyamorous relationship, but I might not go for it.

I've been having a dilemma internally of forever not caring to look or feel I want love. Like I've told her, I'm beyond exhausted. I don't care I don't need love to be successful.

I'd rather be single with all the money to do what I want love comfortably where is no object. I would love simple and be comfy being content with my life alone.

I'm afraid of being responsible of someone and deal with me growing up and have kids not my plan at all.

I don't feel it's fair. So I won't do it.

I've only had feelings for the side of her I'm searching.

Like I want a companion not a gf, not a wife none of that no soul mate. I don't care for it.

I just afraid of losing her so temporary and quickly because she's really nice to me. She's a great friend.