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Old Mar 15, 2016, 07:37 AM
Icare dixit's Avatar
Icare dixit Icare dixit is offline
Magnate
 
Member Since: Feb 2016
Location: A version of earth
Posts: 2,626
Lamotrigine. Keeps me non-depressed when (having been) non-manic.

I see my unprovoked or stable mania as something just as normal (most ideal, but not workable; more than just hypomania) as pre-BP stability, for me. I don't mind the post-mania depression enough to make me want to do away with mania (but again, not really something I can afford right now: not yet).

I do also like stability: continuous and volatile (provoked, by fear, anxiety or opposition) mood and energy I rather do without.

I also need some more fixed screws to be able to communicate, so I take an antipsychotic. Lamotrigine alone makes mania quite easily reachable. So I can use all my meds to kinda control it. I like that. Brains need rest, with some pharmacological help (due to circumstances) or depression. Both'll do. Just don't want continuous chaos.
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Mania kills cells. Brain cells die. Memories become more reduced conceptually, making more efficient use of limited means. Memories shape our reality. Our memories are more or less split in two by abstractions, conceptual reductions. Mood states with memories, concepts, attached. Memories of pain and those of joy. It causes instability, changeability. Fearing that will leave an emptiness between pain and joy and a greater divide.
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