I keep trying to get back to that place. I feel it so intensely. The man I've become, due to worsening bipolar and marriage to a woman who, unfortunately, has Borderline Personality Disorder and alcohol addiction(and won't go for therapy or attend AA), has developed into sadness and hopelessness. But I keep trying to break through the 'wall'. As long as I'm committed to staying alive, I see no reason to throw in the towel. Life is like the ocean; it never stops moving and changing.