Yes, it truly is okay to feel....The fact that you are on here is a good sign you care, that you notice and WANT a standard for yourself that is acceptable....I don't think in this case you are beating yourself up....Some people are just different don't allow what another person's, or yourself to define what that should look like......If asked you wouldn't be rude or uncaring? Right? Then, that is all you have to worried about. There are props that can help cards, phone calls, flowers, a helping hand that can aid you in how you feel.