Guilt is such a destructive emotion! I feel that if you focus on one thing at a time, little baby steps could get you moving in a direction towards becoming more hopeful. I do know that employers have many requirements by law regarding FMLA, all you have to do is give your doctor's paperwork. I'm on FMLA right now, started with intermittent, but needed the full-time leave from work. Have you been able to think about what you need? Because you deserve the conditions to become well. Take care.