Thank you all for your supportive replies. Once we'd had some time in our own rooms and calmed down I talked to her.

I told her that because I have a lot of responsibilities I sometimes need a bit of help, so listening to me and doing what I've asked helps me a lot. She was exceptionally surprised to find her sweets in the bin but I will not be messed with.

A few months ago I realised how crap of a parent I was being. We were more like friends and there were very few boundaries, and when I gave a warning I never followed through with it. This was just ridiculous for both of us so if I decided that if I said something I meant it. I've stuck to my guns every single time and whilst at first I felt guilty, I actually quite like the fact that that what I'm doing is having an effect. So when I tell her last chance to go to bed or she gets no game time tomorrow, she knows I mean it. As kids do, she tries it with me every once in a while to see if she can get away with something but she can't. I once had her dvd player for a week!

I can generally deal with things but on a bad day it's like the world is ending. But today was another day and we've got through it with plenty of hugs and kisses so it's been a bonus. And I'll try again tomorrow. It's all I can do.

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