In a sense I'm kind of on both sides of this emotional coin, but not exactly, not in a black and white way at least... Geez I don't even know how or where to begin.


Ok, so I'm very good at shoving down day to day negative emotions because they're highly uncomfortable and I plain just dislike them. Learned this trick during childhood, early teens, because my mother was not a fan of my emotions. I'm trying to remove this functionality from its automatic setting.


Then in the same breath, my emotions tend to explode when my BP or BPD beasts rear their ugly heads and I become hard to deal with.


Mostly people either don't know what to do with me, or I shut them out and don't allow anyone to see me like that. Not because I'm ashamed I'll be portrayed as weak, but because I don't know how to really be vulnerable to an audience and when my vulnerability has no clear cut explanation, it just complicates the shyt out of everything.


Besides from my mother (many moons ago) nobody has expected, asked, or demanded I just chill out when I am very clearly upset.


Then there's another breath here...

Other people being emo doesn't necessarily annoy me per se (unless I'm already in an agitated mood state that is) but it does get to me, like seriously.

When someone's angry, it's easy for me to get pissed off on their behalf, when they're sad, it doesn't take much for me to cry with them. You don't have to be particularly close to me for me to have such visceral reactions.


So imagine how confusing group sessions are for me some days!


What I do find annoying where emotions are concerned, is when people b!tch and moan about the same shyt different day, instead of doing something about whatever it is that pains them.


Hope that made sense.