You liked your old T, but your old T really left you in a bad place and rather harmed you quite a bit. I know you long for that same feeling that you had with your old T, but I wonder if, because that therapy situation turned out so badly for you, that may not really be what will help you in the end. Are you longing to recreate something that felt good at the time, but ended up hurting you?

I don't know that you'll ever find that same relationship again, and I wonder if that is what you are looking for. Each new relationship has its own dynamics, and we sort of have to learn each new person and each new relationship and take it as it is. If we can't accept it, even though the new relationship isn't necessarily bad, it just isn't what we want, then we have to make that tough decision to move on if we can't adjust our hopes of something different.

I wonder if you are a bit at that crossroads: This new therapist doesn't seem to be particularly bad or anything; she's just not what you are longing for. You can either find a way to adjust your expectations somewhat, or you can decide to move on. I don't think either is particularly wrong or better than the other. They are just two different choices to make.

It's a tough spot for you I am sure since you don't seem to feel you have any other options other than this therapist. I hope you can find some peace in whatever decision you make. Maybe this is the time to reassess your need for therapy. Sometimes we just need a break.