Hi, my name's Kris and I'm new to this forum.

I decided to create an account because I am really struggling with everything I've been trying to understand about myself, my codependent behaviors, and my general life patterns lately.

To be more specific, after breaking down all of the harmful behaviors I've tried to cling to in my life in attempts to feel a sense of self or give myself direction, I don't think I really know who I am at all. I identify with all of the characteristics of acoas though, so I think this might be a good place to ask for advice.

I was hoping to talk to people further along in their recovery journey about tactics they've used or ways they've learned to cultivate a strong sense of self through non-harmful means? I don't want to replace my codependency with complete narcissism. I tend to feel the most comfortable in the extremes, so I feel like that's something I need to watch out for. Moderation is the thing that makes me feel the least stable. I don't know the rules and it feels alien.

I feel like I've created a bit of an existential crisis for myself, and it's only compounding my serious anxiety/ptsd resulting from my last go-around in a really abusive relationship that I co-created without really understanding what I was doing.

I would really appreciate some guidance if anyone has the time to offer it.