I certainly don't feel strong but thank you for that. I will look into relaxation stuff, it is certainly worth a try and I am embarrassed that I it never occurred to me.

elavatedsoul: I will talk to my pdoc about seeing a therapist again.

Maybe I am on too many meds and need to cut back. My pdoc thinks that despite the high risks an MAOI would probably be very effective because it hits nearly every receptor. Despite the risk of strokes, more seizures and would take away pain management options when my bursitis and whatnot flares up, it is starting to look appealing.

He won't agree with it even though he was the one who brought it up and I was the one that said it was medically unsound. I guess that says a lot about where I am at. Nothing scares me more than having another seizure but the risk seems worth it right now. The auras themselves are terrifying and my last seizure sent me to the hospital for 6 days, 3 of them were in the ICU because seizures causes my heart to beat erratically. Plus, the seizure damaged my shoulder which is why I get bursitis.

In the first post I said it was depression that is driving all my crazy issues, but it is the seizures that started them in the first place.