I know I am not a good person to give advice since I am a mess right now also.

Hang in there. Things go up, things go down, you know that, it is just the "joys" of depression. I have cut myself a few times and I can see how it could get addicting. It is a dead end road and I have stopped doing it but I do miss it sometimes.

I don't have ADHD or PTSD so I have no idea what it is like. Like you I have AvPD traits, actually my pdoc calls it cluster c personality traits because of that and my obsessions. He said it would be schizoid if it weren't for the fact that I am close to my family and enjoy being around them, I couldn't care less about making other friendships. It is hard to be around people, it is even harder if that person is a jerk. Being around nice people is easier, but I cut off everyone except family, even the nice ones. That was the wrong thing to do,I still don't care that I did it even though it made things worse.

Cutting out jerks is always a good thing. Life is sucky enough without people making it worse.

What I find helpful, even when I am at my lowest is to force myself to do one thing a day. Even if it is something that takes a few minutes. It is really hard to make a goal, much less keep it these days, but it really is helpful even though I annoy myself with it. It used to keep my focus on something outside my head, and if I can get a handle on my anxiety and obsessions it will again.

I am really sorry you are going through all this. You seem like a very nice person and you don't deserve any of this.